NASCAR

After a long weekend, I started out my week a little bit worse for the wear.

I realized my favorite Tony Stewart hat was dirty, as was my NASCAR logo jacket. I guess I had one too many cans of Keystone Ice after country line dancing, and then ended up falling off the adult tricycle I was riding home.

So True.

Old Spice

I can't believe I ran out of Old Spice.

Everyone knows Old Spice is my trademark scent. They stopped carrying it anywhere within 25 miles of my house....and now I'm scent free! I'm freaking out. Now, all I smell like is Head and Shoulders and Dial soap.

I'm going to have to take the bus to Renton to get some.

The things I do to enrich your lives.

Britney can eat me

So I don't know if you heard, but Britney Spears is coming to town....and I hate that trampy whore.

She is just a big talentless bag of water. I don't care what they say, "she's misunderstood" "she plays to her audience" BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

I've never seen anyone with less talent. Womanizer? "Lets have some tunes and just chant the same thing over and over in a nasty squeak and call it music!!"

I was so happy when I thought she was going to self destruct and we wouldn't have to hear about her anymore, but NOPE. Maybe she'll find a man like Ike Turner that will treat her right.