It's been a rough week.

So busy!

I've been so busy lately that I have barely had time to write.

You see, I've been hitting up every casino buffet in the area, trying to determine the best cost/quantity ratio. The Muckleshoot is my fave, because I can get all the rocky mountain oysters i can eat for $10. I mean, they're on my protein diet and they're so tender and delicious!

I'm off to the tanning salon now though. Later.

Talk about a walk down memory lane! Back in my early thirties, you
could always find me at some random sporting event I knew absolutely
nothing about, tossing care and decent fashion sense to the wind in
favor of sequins and short-shorts. Ah, to be young again.

My BIRTHDAY!

For my birthday I decided to treat myself to something special.

I spent the day dressed in my wrestling garb playing WWE Raw on my playstation. I barely stopped to eat! Of course, I had a good supply of my favorite beer and did chow down on pork rinds. Yay for puffed fried pig skin!

Everything I wanted for my birthday! A fresh vag, and a lubed-up lice-
free do!

Fat girl loves her some hot turkey at midnight.

Happy Valentimes Day

Happy Valentine's Day.

I'm so hung over today! After an eventful day, I spent yesterday evening drinking Keystone Ice (my fave) and waxing my whole body. There is nothing better than being as bald as a 10 year old boy...all over. *wink* *wink*

No real evening plans, which means I have a date with Jerry Springer and Cops.

Mom always said to wear clean underwear

So I can't even begin to tell you how thrilled I am about the WWE being in Seattle this weekend. Not that I wouldn't travel to see The Big Show, because I would. You know I would.

I mentioned earlier that my friend, who happens to work at the hotel where they're staying, called me and mentioned that TBS called for valet laundry service. Well, being the girl-on-the-go that I am, I skipped over there this afternoon and retrieved his bag of clothes.

I know this sounds a bit stalkery, but it isn't. I'm one of his biggest fans, and it's the least I can do to give him the cleanest clothes he's ever had. You have no idea how excited I was to open that bag up and smell the musk.

He's going to have the cleanest underwear ever. I spent the last hour washing his undies by hand in my sink, giving them the attention they deserve.

Just writing this makes me squeal with delight.

Newsflash:

My friend who works at the hotel just informed me that The Big Show called for valet laundry.

and I'm off....

I just can't get enough of Mr. The Big Show

I just can't get enough country music and wrestling

So I have some insider information about the WWE. Yeah, that's right, I know where they're staying this weekend.

Can you smell what The Rock is cooking? I actually like The Big Show. He's my favorite.

It's going to take all my composure not leap into his lap if I see him while skulking around the hotel lobby.

On another note, while listening to my Diamond Rio CD (for what seems like the hundred billionth time) I realized I just can't get enough of the country music. It's like the singers are gazing into my SOUL! What a beautiful mess you've made Mr. Rio, what a beautiful mess.

Another year older

Part of my bad mood lately has been to do with my birthday coming up. You see, I'm turning 37. Turning 37 in itself isn't all that bad, but since I lost all the weight last year (I'm down to 220, YAY!) I realized 37 year old skin isn't elastic anymore. So now, almost 37, I have oodles of flaccid folds.

I literally have to wrap myself in ace bandage every morning to even things out, and make the walk to work a bit easier. Without the bandage it is like walking with a big ol' skin tassel go go dress.

I was going to have it removed...but when I found donating it to burn victims wasn't tax deductible I figured, "why bother?"! I'd rather make a skin coat out of it if I'm not going to be rewarded by the government.

Another day another dollar

Phew. So I woke up this morning and wasn't feeling very well...So I went to the mirror, gazed intently, and ordered, "try to be more like John today!" That always makes me feel a little bit better.More later.